Resignation Letter Template

For all you disgruntled (or is it just gruntled?) employees out there—something to make your exit a little bit easier. The crack team at the Original Pickle have already written your resignation letter for you—just choose your answers from the available options and [present it to your boss/slide it under his door after he’s gone for the day/wad it up and shove it down his throat].
Resignation Letter
[Insert expected burn-out date]
Dear [Sir/Madam] (but probably Sir),
Please consider this letter as my formal act of resignation from the position of marketing [monkey/director/manager/vice president/president/chief marketing officer/supreme commander of allied marketing forces,
It has been [pure ecstasy/a pleasure/a job/a burden/a pain in the ass] to work with you and the [phenomenal/mediocre/abysmal] [team/loose confederacy of rouges/Myrmidons] at [company name—be sure to check spelling]. Unfortunately, I must consider my [family/bleeding ulcer/retirement/suicide pact/reputation] and go in [to seclusion/to retirement/search of a real career/to the priesthood].
My last official day of work will be [today/tomorrow/next week/two weeks from today/my last day was last Monday]. I will be [tying up loose ends/surfing the web/applying for jobs/perusing MySpace/building my Second Life character] until that date.
[Sincerely/Loyally Yours/Piss Off],
[Your name–be sure to check for spelling]
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