Letter from the editor, December 2009

Well it happened again – we went 6 months between Original Pickle articles. But really folks, get off our backs. If we wrote OP content at the rates you’re demanding we would scarce have a moment to work on our clients (and they actually pay us – you cheap bastards).

Either way, we’re making an early New Years Resolution; we won’t go 6 months between content updates in 2009. We might go 5 months, but the plan as it stands would have us updating this relic once a month or so.

The issue I’d like to address with all you faithful (ha!) readers is a full explanation of the Original Pickle creative process. You see, first we have to think really hard about nothing for a long time – a really long time. Once we’ve successfully cleared our heads of all intelligent thought (which is hard, considering how smart we are), we go pull up all of the usual-suspect news sites; Fox News, MSNBC, CNN, Perez Hilton, etc. Then we find the funniest, most off-the-wall news article we can. After taking extensive notes and deconstructing the article structure, we shred all documents involved in its creation. You see, we’ve committed what we learned to memory, and wars would be started if this info ever left these four walls.

After a period of intense meditation and medication, we’re finally ready to begin writing. From that point on, your guess is as good as mine – as I’ve usually blacked out. But wonder of wonders, there is always a pretty bitchin’ piece of satire on the ground when I wake up – albeit covered in drool and surrounded by crumpled Cheeto’s bags and half-eaten packages of Mentos.

But enough about us, here’s a message to all of you: Happy Holidays (Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Festivus, whatever you celebrate) and Happy New Year (unless you’re on a different calendar than us – who knows.)